The death of a loved one is a difficult time
for families to endure. There often is confusion, shock, denial, despair,
anger, and almost every other possible human emotion. There can be great
financial stress as well due to the expense of the funeral itself and
uncertainty about the future if the deceased was the primary income earner.
Because of this stress, many people opt
to pre-plan their funerals as part of their routine estate planning.
A pre-planned funeral can help your family better deal with your death. Here
are some ways to make a funeral and other arrangements less of a burden on you
and your family.
The Ins
and Outs of Funeral Pre-Planning
When a funeral is pre-planned, every aspect can be considered,
from the wording of the obituary, type of service, casket model, and more.
People tend to have strong personal opinions on such decisions as to whether to
be buried or cremated, whether to have an
open-casket service, and even what musical selections will play during their
funeral. Pre-planning allows individuals to organize the exact funeral they
desire. Again, this is not a morbid thought but a way that you can lessen the
burden when you pass away. With pre-planning, families can feel assured that
they are following the deceased’s wishes.
The financial aspects of a funeral are
addressed with pre-planning as well, from payment in full of an amount
sufficient for a funeral. Pre-planning my provide you with the option of pre-paying for your funeral, possibly securing
lower rates and avoiding the problem of liquidating estate assets to pay for a
burial.
Most funeral homes offer pre-planning
services, where they can discuss your wishes and create a roadmap in the event
of your death. There are some obvious potential problems with a pre-planned
arrangement. For example, you might not be living near the funeral home at the
time of your death -- you are likely hoping your funeral plans will be long off
in the future, and who knows what life you’ll be living then.
Other arrangements for handling the payment
portion of a funeral is to take out an insurance policy with a benefit that
would cover funeral expenses or to set up a burial trust fund.
When
the Funeral Is Not Pre-Planned
Although many are arranging their funerals in
advance, most people don’t like to think about their
deaths, so they neglect pre-planning arrangements. In the event that you are
guiding someone through the loss of a loved one, there are several ways to
provide support and help them make choices in a stressful moment.
People grieve in their own way, so it’s not
especially helpful to be intrusive during this time. Offer your support in
tangible ways, such as helping with funeral arrangements. Offer to speak with
the funeral director yourself so that the grieving family member does not have
to be inundated with the death process. However, make sure to include the
person in decisions and listen to the funeral director’s advice. Since they
deal with grief on a daily basis, they often can provide insight, guidance, and
assistance during this time.
Beyond planning for a funeral, a grieving
person might need your help in navigating the world after
the death. When the funeral is over and the shock begins to subside, this
person may need to create a new life. Offer to help address long-term decisions and connect with support
services that may be available.
Death will bring shock and stress for families
and surviving spouses. Consider how pre-planning can lessen that for your
family, and when you know of others going through the stress, be there to
provide support.
Hazel Bridges
hazel.bridges@agingwellness.org
www.agingwellness.org
hazel.bridges@agingwellness.org
www.agingwellness.org
Photo Credit: Unsplash
