Tips on Guiding Seniors Through the Funeral-Planning Process

The death of a loved one is a difficult time for families to endure. There often is confusion, shock, denial, despair, anger, and almost every other possible human emotion. There can be great financial stress as well due to the expense of the funeral itself and uncertainty about the future if the deceased was the primary income earner.

Because of this stress, many people opt to pre-plan their funerals as part of their routine estate planning. A pre-planned funeral can help your family better deal with your death. Here are some ways to make a funeral and other arrangements less of a burden on you and your family.

The Ins and Outs of Funeral Pre-Planning

When a funeral is pre-planned, every aspect can be considered, from the wording of the obituary, type of service, casket model, and more. People tend to have strong personal opinions on such decisions as to whether to be buried or cremated, whether to have an open-casket service, and even what musical selections will play during their funeral. Pre-planning allows individuals to organize the exact funeral they desire. Again, this is not a morbid thought but a way that you can lessen the burden when you pass away. With pre-planning, families can feel assured that they are following the deceased’s wishes.

The financial aspects of a funeral are addressed with pre-planning as well, from payment in full of an amount sufficient for a funeral. Pre-planning my provide you with the option of pre-paying for your funeral, possibly securing lower rates and avoiding the problem of liquidating estate assets to pay for a burial.

Most funeral homes offer pre-planning services, where they can discuss your wishes and create a roadmap in the event of your death. There are some obvious potential problems with a pre-planned arrangement. For example, you might not be living near the funeral home at the time of your death -- you are likely hoping your funeral plans will be long off in the future, and who knows what life you’ll be living then.

Other arrangements for handling the payment portion of a funeral is to take out an insurance policy with a benefit that would cover funeral expenses or to set up a burial trust fund.

When the Funeral Is Not Pre-Planned

Although many are arranging their funerals in advance, most people don’t like to think about their deaths, so they neglect pre-planning arrangements. In the event that you are guiding someone through the loss of a loved one, there are several ways to provide support and help them make choices in a stressful moment.

People grieve in their own way, so it’s not especially helpful to be intrusive during this time. Offer your support in tangible ways, such as helping with funeral arrangements. Offer to speak with the funeral director yourself so that the grieving family member does not have to be inundated with the death process. However, make sure to include the person in decisions and listen to the funeral director’s advice. Since they deal with grief on a daily basis, they often can provide insight, guidance, and assistance during this time.

Beyond planning for a funeral, a grieving person might need your help in navigating the world after the death. When the funeral is over and the shock begins to subside, this person may need to create a new life. Offer to help address long-term decisions and connect with support services that may be available.

Death will bring shock and stress for families and surviving spouses. Consider how pre-planning can lessen that for your family, and when you know of others going through the stress, be there to provide support.

Hazel Bridges
hazel.bridges@agingwellness.org
www.agingwellness.org

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